There was an excessive amount of traffic on my way home from work today. It has been one of those work days that just drags on forever and ever. Probably because I’m anticipating a trip to Cleveland tomorrow, and also because I’m bored with what I’m working on. I’ve managed to gravitate away from working with C and am now suddenly K’s puppet. Which I don’t mind, really, because I like K and I like doing stuff for the online portion of the mag. But I’ve been doing lots of the same things- headers, galleries, etc. I’m not gonna complain about it because I love this job. Seriously. It’s probably saved me from going totally insane this summer. But I’m getting tired and the last day next week is beginning to look a little like the light at the end of the tunnel. School is gonna be starting in 3 weeks or so and some of my books have already come in. That’s going to be tough, as well, living in that fucking town again for a few months. Think I forget how to do it for more than 2 days at a time.
Next semester doesn’t feel real to me. It feels like a sham, like some kind of joke that someone is trying to play on me. I am quite excited to live with KB though. (not to be confused with KP, who is really KS if you want to get technical) Speaking of KS, I called her on my way home from work today. She thinks we need to talk more, which I agree with, and it was nice to have her join me for my drive home. I miss her and it’s really too bad that we got to be better friends so late in our college careers. I mean, we always hung out together but I was much closer to AH, obviously, and LM. But LM isn’t someone I really know well anymore. That makes me a little sad because JS has changed her so much. She can’t see it though. But everyone else can. I guess I just miss the opportunities that I never got a chance to have with some people who aren’t gonna be in town anymore. The friendships that could’ve developed more and everything. You take things for granted while you’re in school. And when it’s all over, you’re left wondering where all the time went. The amount of missing that I feel for RP, AH, LM, KS, even KW sometimes… and JC, MF, TK, JG, ZT, KB… is just overwhelming at times. Memories.
JC has texted me a lot today, but not for anything important. Just talks about how he’s cleaning his new house. I can’t tell how he feels towards me. I don’t know if he just texts me when he’s bored because he considers me a friend that he can tell boring things to. Or if he is doing it for some other reason unknown to either of us at the moment. I text back. But maybe I should make him wait a little. But wait, now I’m getting into the territory that stinks of games and deceit and leveling the playing field. I don’t want to play games this year. I don’t want to tease. I don’t want to love and break. I just want some honesty and some ease. Not so sure I’ll be getting that though. Think that’s up to me. And whoever else decides to like me. MF, not included.
Hey! It’s been a long time. I just happened to hop on my blog and saw you commented again way back in may. To answer your question, whenever I write, I am writing to background music. All of my writing matches up in some way to a song, usually an ambient or trance track by a great man called ATB. It’s really a whole different experience to read them while listening to the music
How have things been for you??
Anyways, I gotta start writing again. I just moved to the beach so maybe I’ll get some new inspiration
Things have been pretty good. I’m back to school for my final semester in about 4 days, which is just…weird. All my friends graduated in May except me, so being at school without them will be an adjustment to say the least. What brought you to the beach?